Last few days, I’ve been seeing shadows in the corners of my vision. Small, humped things, just moving right out of my range of sight. I thought it was just my cats until they followed me to my parents house. I could see them moving in the mirror in front of the bathroom door.
I never feel alone.
Its like something is standing behind me just watching me, all the time. In the shower, at work, in the car, even while I sit and relax in my house. I’m afraid to ask my landlord to repair my lock because I’m worried he’ll demand more money from me, or ask why I’ve been paying my bill mid month rather than the beginning. I know what the thing that lives in my house looks like too. I saw it when I first moved in, I forget if I mentioned it before.
It’s all black, sort of 2 dimensional and shapeless. Its eyes are white with just a dot in the center for a pupil, and I remember it had straight, white, flat teeth. It said hello before it vanished, and it feels like this is the thing that’s watching me. I can feel something at work watching me too, I can see things moving behind me in the reflection of my helmet lens and my goggles. I feel like people have been actively trying to sabotage me, which has been mostly proven true after my boss and I found that the robot I work on was rigged to weld on its own fixtures, and that the first shift employee that works there has been hiding parts, tools and papers on me.
I feel like I really want to hurt him. Since it’s his fault that I almost destroyed a fixture and couldn’t complete work, and that now I have to be moved to a new area so I can actually get work done without him sticking his fucking penis in it because he’s a fuck headed dick stick who deserves to be hit by a plane.
I haven’t drank until I’m drunk for 2 years, and the same goes for popping sleep pills, but I really want to, even if the Christian Brothers I have in the house tastes like bad decisions and liquified ass. I’m getting internet drama over a roleplay scenario that hasn’t even fully happened yet, everyone around me is acting like a child, my cats smashed a jar of happy childhood memories yesterday while I was in the shower, as well as smashed a rose lamp that I had, and I feel like everything is crumbling around me and breaking.
I’m 215 dollars shy of being up to date on my car payments, i’m always behind on fucking insurance because of the fact i was a drugged up assfuck and smashed my car and got speeding tickets so many times that my agency has shot my bill up to 265 dollars a month because i guess when you’re a fucked up mental case who cant hold a job youre swimming in money.
i kind of just want to vanish into the house. there’s a leak in the ceiling and it looks like someone set a giant coffee mug down on my roof and left it there and im scared to ask the landlord to fix that too because hell just ask for money i dont have.